Open your eyes. Free food is all around you. If you start living off of handouts, you’ll find you have plenty of money to waste on less important things. I have cut my grocery shopping by over half. Before you can think of a stereotypical Jewish joke to throw at me, here is a helpful list of common places that have free food around campus.

1. Einstein Bros Bagels: This place is a goldmine. Every weekday at around 17:09, the very friendly lady who works there places a bag filled with free bagels. Sometimes there is even a muffin or bagel dog in there! Grab two - one for dinner, and one for breakfast the next day.
2. Tomlinson: Nothing says “Come to Case” like an assorted buffett of tasty morsels. Muffins, bagels, orange juice, coffee, and the occasional spread of pastries provide a filling lunch. The best time to catch this feast is when you see tons of highschool students walking around campus. They are easily identifiable by the blue nylon bags with the Case logo that they carry around. Be careful - this food is supposed to be taboo for the Undergraduate Student.
3. The Apple Tree: get a balanced diet! To be honest, I’m not sure if this tree is still around. I used to visit it all the time my freshman year. It is located across the street from the Ghetto McDonalds on Northside - near the CIA warehouse-esque building. If you climb on top of your car, you can get great tasting apples if the season is right. I will have to see if this tree still exists…
4. Rush: the first two weeks of every semester are BBQ heaven. Sure, you have no desire to join the fraternity. OK, you actually are in a fraternity, but that doesn’t mean you can’t eat their food! Vegetarians are usually out of luck at these events.
5. Join a student group, eat for free. I can’t stress this enough - student groups equal free food. Sign up to the mailing list of every ethnic student group. You can eat your way to cultural harmony. Nerdy student groups tend to provide large quantities of pizza and soda.
6. Start a garden. This one is slightly crazy, but rumor has it that Ian Charnas had or still has various vegetable gardens hidden around campus. I think that’s brilliant. I might have to try that.
7. Host perspective students. Once again, Tomlinson delivers. Every time you host a prospective student, they provide you with meal tickets. Sometimes they’ll even give you vouchers to use at Wackadoos. Beer tastes better when it’s the university’s dime buying it.
8. Luncheons. You have to work for this one, but the payoff is pretty good. Name your flavor: Leadership, scholarship, special interest, faculty, and more. These tend to provide full course meals complete with cookies for dessert. Tasty.
9. Greek Formals. Do you have a craving for filet mignon or stuffed chicken? You need to find yourself a date. March is formal season, so start hunting in early February. I have known people who have booked four fraternity formals in a season. Feigning a stomach ache might be enough to get you out of the goodnight kiss.
10. Weekends are rough. Plan ahead by stocking up on Friday. Condiments are your friend and finding a source of jelly is key. With a few jelly’s and some stale bagels, you’ll get by. When all else fails: mooch.